This community space has only just launched, and we want to start by saying: welcome. We’re so glad you’ve found your way here.

Hi, I’m Meryl Da Costa-Rohland, the Community Manager here at TrichStop, and I’m so glad you’re here.

I work in this space every day, and I’m also a parent with personal experience of body-focused repetitive behaviours- like hair pulling. I’ve seen firsthand how overwhelming, isolating, and confusing hair pulling can feel — both for individuals and for families. If you’re here, it’s likely that you or someone you love is living with trichotillomania, and I want you to know this right away: you are not alone.

Shame has a way of convincing us that we’re the only ones struggling, but that simply isn’t true. The hair-pulling community (and those affected by related BFRBs, like skin picking) is one of the most compassionate, understanding, and supportive groups I’ve ever encountered — and I’m so grateful we can bring that sense of connection directly to you here.

This is your space.

A place to share openly, ask questions, learn from others, and feel understood.
No judgement. Just empathy, encouragement, and community.

We’re really glad you’ve joined us, and I truly look forward to getting to know you.

Hi everyone! How is everyone's pulling journey going?
I personally learnt through trichstop that my pulling issues are actually only superficial, and that there are deeper issues under the surface that remained unaddressed. It never occurred to me that these triggered my pulling, and in general I've really learnt so much more about myself.
For example, I never noticed that my personal voice in my head is quite demanding and I constantly have this "should" voice which makes me always thinkg I should be doing something. I always feel like I'm behind and need to catch up on all the things I haven't been doing right accoridng to my books. This leaves me in a constant state of anxiety or productivity-debt, and addressing this has helped me reduce the pulling quite significantly.

What are some inner troubles that trigger your pulling? Or what are some new things you learnt about yourself through your journey? I'd be happy to hear some of your experiences :)

Hi everyone. I wanted to create a post to keep myself accountable and come on this app every day if possible. The past week or 2 (I've honestly lost track of time) have brought me the worst pulling relapses yet, but this new week is a fresh new start for me. Especially today. And I'd like to keep that momentum going, at least reminding myself that I have this tool and shouldn't ignore it nor forget about it.

Please feel free to use this thread as your own accountability tracker if you'd like. Hey, now that I think about it, this app would benefit from a streak count (only available to those who turn it on, since I know it could be triggering for some). For me, that would motivate me a lot to keep opening the app and doing the lessons or responding to my therapist each and every day, just so my brain is aware that I am actively trying to get better and stop pulling. Just an idea for any TrichStop developers who see this :)

Join us for a free online Q&A this Friday. Ask your questions during the live session, or send through your questions here (in the comments) or send us an email to support@trichstop.com and Laura will answer them during the session.

Date: Friday, 27th March
Time: 12pm EST
Join: www.trichstop.com/webinar

Can't make it? Don't worry, we will be recording the event- register for the event and we'll send you a copy of the recording.

I have been trying to stop pulling my hair out for years now. I had an episode I just went in. I pulled the most I have done in weeks. I am really trying to identify and understand my triggers. It was going well for a little bit. This weekend I really crashed out. I feel so ashamed and disappointed in myself. I was in a tr trance. I pulling big chunks of hair. I am ashamed that I like the feeling so much. I am embarrassed talking about it . I don't know what to do.

Living with trich can sometimes feel very isolating. Many of us have spent years thinking we were the only one going through it.

For some of us, this community may be the first place we’ve ever spoken about our pulling. Others may have only shared it with one or two trusted people.

Opening up, even in small ways, can help soften the shame and secrecy that often surrounds this experience.

If you feel comfortable, you’re welcome to share something here in the thread. It could be:

• something that has been difficult lately
• a small win you’ve had
• a strategy that helps you
• or simply how you’re doing today

And if you’d rather just read for now, that’s completely okay too.

We’re really glad you’re here.

🗓 March 10 | 11AM EST
What Are Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours?
Understanding Hair Pulling & Skin Picking
Hosted by Meryl Da Costa Rohland, Counsellor and Chief Community Officer for TrichStop

🗓 March 27 | 12PM EST
Understanding Trichotillomania: Hair Pulling Q&A
Hosted by Laura Santner, Clinical Social Worker and Therapist at TrichStop

Want to learn more, or register, visit www.trichstop.com/webinar

We’d love to see you there 🤍

Hi everybody,

I’ve been struggling with trichotillomania for about 20 years. At this point, most of my pulling happens while I’m asleep, specifically my eyelashes. During the day, I occasionally pull eyebrow hairs or random body hairs (especially gray ones), usually with tweezers, but that’s not my main issue anymore.

My biggest challenge is nighttime eyelash pulling. I wake up and realize I’ve done damage in my sleep. Right now, the only thing that has really helped is taping my fingers together so I can’t use my thumb and index finger to pull. It’s uncomfortable, but it works better than anything else I’ve tried. I’ve also tried wearing a sleep mask, but I usually take it off in the middle of the night. Gloves haven’t worked well either because they get too hot and I end up removing them.

I’m really looking for suggestions specifically for people who pull while asleep. Has anyone found something that actually stays on or prevents access to lashes overnight? Or are there daytime strategies that helped reduce nighttime pulling for you?

I’d really appreciate any advice. Thanks in advance.

Just wanted to share a small victory,
it's been around 2 months since I joined trichstop and for the first time in nearly 12 years my pulling is near zero...! I do still fidget and play around with my hair a lot and my hands still automatically go straight to my hair, but the physical pulling has significantly diminished. I still have a lot of reflecting to do and I know it's not a linear journey, but just a shoutout to trichstop and this community for always being so supportive and giving me the hope and motivation to keep going!

Shame. Secrecy. Loneliness.

In this episode of "In Their Own Words", Liz Atkin shares her experience of compulsive skin picking — and the emotional world that came with it.

While Liz speaks about picking, many of the feelings she describes — hiding, self-criticism, the urge to cope in private, the fear of being seen — are ones people living with hair pulling know well.

Register here: www.trichstop.com/webinar

She reflects on how art and drawing became a way to express what felt impossible to explain, and how perspective can shift over time.

I have realised that my response to noticing that I'm pulling can be unintentionally re-enforcing the behaviour. Example: I notice I'm pulling my hair and my first thought is 'stop that, you shouldn't do that, that's bad' etc etc. Could I be training my brain to be adversed to noticing and acknowledging itself? Because the pulling isn't what brings about emotional pain, it is the feelings I feel once I acknowledge what it is I'm doing! Now the solution my brain decides on to keep me safe and secure is simply don't acknowledge it! Anyway, by this logic I'm now making a conscious effort to loudly celebrate every time I notice that I'm pulling, in an effort to make the noticing itself enjoyable and rewarding. Every time I notice I'm pulling: 'you're doing so great!', 'well done!', 'go you!', 'you're awesome!'. Just wanted to share this because it finally clicked for me recently and this has been helping.

I just wanted to post a win that I haven't pulled any eyelashes in a week straight! I think that's the longest I have gone without doing that in years. I was very happy to see that on my self-monitoring tool when I reviewed that today! I hope everyone is having a great day today!

Hi all - I'm wondering if any of you have advice about what to ak a partner, spouse, or other loved ones to say to you when they notice you are pulling and want to help support you to stop. My spouse often just tells me to stop, or says something like "no, no lovey" which somehow always makes me feel judged and is the opposite of supportive even though she's trying to say it in a supportive tone. Have any of you found things (words, gestures, etc.) that are helpful for loved ones to say that actually feel supportive and loving that help interrupt the habit and help you stop?

Hi all, would love to connect to parents with young kids - my twins are 3 now and pulled for two years already. I would like to learn what can work at this young age - I understand it is more about creating safe environment, but need practical tips

In last night’s support group, we spent some time talking about a question many people carry quietly: “Why me?”

We reflected together that while understanding causes can be interesting, real change often comes from focusing on triggers, patterns, and what helps in the moment — rather than trying to find a single explanation.

That said, for anyone who is curious about the science behind pulling and picking, I wanted to share a recording of a webinar I hosted a few months ago with Clare Mackay. Clare brings a unique perspective — she lives with picking and pulling herself and studies these behaviours from a neuroscience lens. In the webinar, she explores what research is beginning to suggest about possible underlying mechanisms and vulnerabilities.

This recording is shared purely as an optional resource — not because you need to “know the cause” to make progress, but because understanding can sometimes bring relief, self-compassion, and a sense of not being alone.

💛 If it feels helpful, you’re welcome to watch. If not, that’s okay too.

You can watch it here: https://youtu.be/YGF5VOpO7UM

Hi, I used to do it all the time when was grooming down there (for men mostly). I gave it up for at least 10 years and decided not to care too much about pubic hair. Within the last two years I've lost my hearing, my balance, and my mother to ASL. After some discrimination at work that was ignored I took a month's leave from work. Working was bad (kindergarten teacher). I was stressed all the time and was 5051ed. It was a nightmare, I sat in a hallway for 14 hours. Do not let cops force you to go. Sorry for the long story but I started plucking again after I had to wear a swim suit. I bought a plucking toy off Amazon, which is pretty good but you don't get that little sting of pain. What do you do to distract yourself for wanting to pluck? Thank you for reading!

If you weren’t able to join the recent Hair Pulling Q&A with Laura, the recording is now available to watch.

Some of the questions explored included:
• What it means to work with a trained therapist
• What can help manage hair-pulling urges in everyday life
• The overlap between hair pulling and neurodivergence
• When hair pulling often begins and why
• Supporting teenagers with the embarrassment and shame that can come with hair pulling
• How to practice self-kindness in a way that actually feels genuine

You’re welcome to watch the recording in your own time here:

https://youtu.be/FTtKRE6kFz0

First time posting. A bit nervous as I've never spoken about my pulling to anyone, but I really wanted to share that I’m starting to notice small changes. I'm catching urges a bit sooner, feeling less stuck afterward, and being kinder to myself when pulling happens. It’s not perfect, but it feels different in a good way.
I appreciate this community more than I realised

We’re hosting a live Hair Pulling Q&A and wanted to make sure our community knows about it.

This is a space to ask questions about trichotillomania (hair pulling) — from things you’ve been trying to make sense of, to concerns you haven’t had a chance to voice yet. You’re welcome to submit questions in advance (include them here, or send an email to support@trichstop.com) or ask them live during the session.

Whether you’re seeking support or trying to better understand what you’re experiencing, this Q&A is about clarity, compassion, and shared understanding — not judgement or pressure.

🗓️16th January
⏰ 12pm EST

Host: TrichStop Therapist, Laura Santner, LCSW & PTR
🔗 Register (free): www.trichstop.com/webinar

Thank you so much for creating this community — it really means a lot to have a space like this.

I’m a parent to a 7-year-old who’s been pulling for about three years now, mostly from his head. Some days feel heavier than others, and it can feel pretty isolating at times.

I’d really love to connect with other parents who are going through something similar, or anyone who’s open to sharing their experiences.
It helps so much to know we’re not alone.